Saturday, November 22
It seems like I do some of my best thinking at night, so I’m going to reflect on the purpose of writing the blog for me. Last trip as you may recall, I wrote about every day on our trip. Please go here, if you want to read that blog of our trip going down and back to Georgetown Bahamas. It was fun (most of the time), had good and bad times and ultimately looking back, really told the story of our trip. And now a few years later, it’s our memory of our trip which we’re glad to have. It really tested our marriage, which was a little rocky on our return. But we we made it through and have a stronger marriage now for it and everything else that has happened. It also helped prepare for our last trip. I now know how to get Phil’s attention so he hears what I say. Hint hint Phil.😉
For our second trip, I move to the Word Press format which is what I’m also going to continue for third and last trip. The 2nd trip was different, and I really felt the lack of not meeting people as much along the way. That’s really hard on me being such a people person. As such, I didn’t feel like writing, so I didn’t but felt a little guilty for my readers. So I had quick updates to my Facebook page, which I may utilize on this trip too. But now I don’t really have a record of our last trip. Which is bad because all the beautiful places run into each other so now we can’t go back into the blog to remember what happened. It’s amazing how each place and day runs into each other and they all seem the same which they really aren’t.
So now we are coming up to our third and last trip and I really want to have a record of it good, bad and indifferent to remember. But here is the thing for me. As many know, my daughter died and I have been working hard paying off the bills that arrived from her death and from also what was going on with my daughter. I’m glad to work. I really love my job and am so tied to the company I work for and so thankful that I have some kind of position to come back to when this journey is over. But I haven’t really spent a lot of time thinking and doing the hard work of grieving. So the point I’m trying in a long way to make, is that it’s probably going be time to pay the piper, in that the hard job of grieving is going to happen – on this trip. I’m afraid that when it does, that I won’t feel like posting again. Which is not what I want to have happen. I’m glad that Phil is posting, as I hope that he can pick up the slack if I’m not able to.
Thank you for reading this blog. I really appreciate it and all your comments. But if this is really going to be a record of our trip for us, then I’m going to have to have part of what’s going on with me grieving for my daughter in the blog. I won’t be going on and on about it, but it has to be in here, in some abbreviated fashion, to be a honest record of our trip for us later, so please bear with me and just skim if you get tired of that point. It’s fun to read later about what we eat, so bear with us on that aspect too.
Life is winding down here. I played cards with Phil, Teri, Grant and Betsy for the last time last evening. Sunday, I will see Ginny to get mail and things and see her for the last time before the trip. After working today (get OT), I have two more days of work, then turn in my equipment, drive down to visit my parents for Thanksgiving, come back Saturday, then there will be three days to wrap up everything here before I fly down to Trinidad. It will go fast I’m sure. I have had my experience of winter cold and snow and thank you very much for the cracked skin that happens from the cold and dryness on the tips of my fingers, so I’m ready to go! As much as I like my job, covering a caseload has gotten me ready to go too. I can leave with a good feeling knowing that the good nurse that has started with our agency and is taking over my caseload has the patients in as a good a place as they can be for hospice patients. They didn’t start out that way and has been challenging, but I’m glad we got there.
The previous two trip have been very different, so I’m sure that this trip will be different too. What will be, will be. Whatever it is, I’m sure that Phil and I will rise up and meet the challenge. Life is precious. All too soon it will end and I want to have the memories when I am old and gray of this time in my life that I am so lucky to have to look back on.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings 😊 and I hope that we have more visitors come to see us this time!
Lorraine, those of us that have written blogs of our journeys know that in old people’s terms it is really a diary. Most of us write for ourselves & hope others enjoy, understand, learn something from our words, & are comforted prn. It is at times a necessary form of comfort & therapy for ourselves as well. It is amazing how many of us experience the same tensions, stresses & feelings but are unaware of it until the opportunity comes along to share with others. Be yourself, free & honest!
Lorraine- I miss you more each time you leave. Please know that at the end of the day no matter how busy it has been I am thankful that you are with us. I wish you much peace as you sail on calm waters. May you feel the love and comfort of those blessed to know and love you as you grieve.
I’m blessed that I have a work “family” to come back to.
Your blog will be very insightful and endearing to read. Kitty and I will be in Hope Town on Tamure this winter and would love to see you both again if you come back through the Bahamas
Thanks. I hope so. New would love to see you both. We are planning, at this time, to go up to the Abacos on our way home. How long are you planning on staying there? It might not be until May that we get there.
Lorraine, My heart goes out to you! Soak up that sunshine and stay strong! Safe travels! Connie
Safe travels, and please do write the blog.
What a heartfelt send-off. I hope you find the peace you’re looking for on this last trip. And you are so right in needing time to grieve. God speed to you and Phil.